Apparently, Chinese couples are eager to kick-off their wedding day as early as possible because it is considered lucky to do so. Another widely held belief is that the 8th day of 11th month is a particularly auspicious day on which to get married – something relating to wealth, I think. Accordingly, on Wednesday 8 November, Joe and I met Tony (our Chinese friend from Aston) at 6am outside our apartment block. From there we headed straight to Tony’s house in order to be ready for a lucky 6.30am start.Poor Tony was visibly excited/nervous/emotional about his sister’s wedding day– he couldn’t sit still. After his Mum offered us Chinese tea, cakes and sweets, for which we had no appetite, Tony explained his duties for the morning (more about which will follow); this helped us understand his state of anxiousness.
Not long afterwards, Wang Yi Kuan, appeared from having her make-up done, dressed in white and looking lovely. After we were quickly introduced and gave to her our wedding gift (cash in a red envelope is what is expected here – no messing around with presents chosen from a John Lewis wish-list – the bride went into her room and hid behind the bed.
If Tony hadn't explained to me the point of this stage of the wedding, I would probably have been mildly perturbed by this behaviour. Thankfully, however, I did understand that a Chinese Bride is traditionally supposed to play ‘hard-to-get’ (the extreme version) until her fiancée has paid enough money for her. Once her family are satisfied that they have got a good deal for their daughter, they will allow her to leave for her new marital home, thus passing into the bosom of a new family.
We knew that this bartering was about to begin as soon as we heard the first round of fireworks that were set off in the courtyard outside. It was ever so exciting. Everyone (by which I mean those in Tony’s flat but also, I am sure, every living soul in the local area) was rushing back and forth to the windows to witness the deafening display of firecrackers. Soon after, there was heavy banging on the front door and the groom’s posse (which included square-jawed men who chain smoked, wore white gloves and were hired to oversee the occasion) started posting red envelopes of money under the door.
I found the whole thing fantastic fun to watch. Frankly, I didn’t know what to expect next (I could barely think over the noise of the fireworks) so I just stood with Joe on the sidelines and stared, agog, as Wang Yi Kuan’s friends, sister and mother all militantly shouted their replies to the banging, insisting that more money was necessary.
It was only when fireworks were let off under the front door that the groom, Zhang Shou Hua, was able to barge his way in. My photography doesn’t do justice to the drama. Eventually, the bride and groom were allowed to be reunited and exchange rings, which was really lovely. However, this was only after Tony’s heroic running jump and dive to get to his sister’s bedroom door before the Zhang Shou Hua could enter.
There was lots of joking and laughing, and then the hired photographer began taking photos, thus marking the end of the first part of the wedding day.Joe and I had found it all absolutely fascinating, but I did felt a little out of place in this relatively small (if extremely loud and attention-seeking) party, especially as we had met the bride only minutes earlier. For this reason I was completely shocked when Tony’s sister invited us to be in her early-morning wedding photos, while even her close friends were not. Paul later explained that we ought to appreciate that having foreigners at a wedding in Wuhu is on a par with having a minor celebrity at your wedding in England; you’d want them in your photos!
After smiling sheepishly for the cameras, Joe and I rushed down to the courtyard in order to get a good spot to watch as Tony carried his sister down the 4 or 5 flights of stairs to the wedding car. This was the duty he had practiced over and over in the previous few days, and about which he had got so anxious (he is a very slight guy and all eyes in the local community were on him, so it’s understandable!). At this point, more fireworks were set off in the courtyard, making it appear as though Tony was evacuating his family from a minefield.
It was about 7.30 by the time we left for the newly-weds’ new home. According to tradition, the brides’ parents (in this case, just her Mum) have to stay behind, which I found quite harsh because the poor lady was in tears due to the emotion of the day. A big convoy of black cars made their way across town and we spent the hour before we had to leave for work (teaching in Kindergarten) at the new house. Joe and I couldn’t help but laugh when we noticed the hired cameraman standing up, his body sticking up out of the first wedding car to film the cars that followed – now that’s dedication!!
While we chatted and had more photos at the new house, Joe and I were made to eat boiled eggs (to bring us good fortune, naturally). The new house contained brand-new everything, and had studio-staged photographic portraits of the couple hanging all over the place (a normal practice here, it seems ).
One experience I had at this point in the wedding, which I shall never forget, was sitting on the loo next to a live-and-clucking chicken that was being stored in a coal sack for the next day. I had been told about this before I entered the room so it could have been worse, but I still found myself making girly squeals as I left the room as promptly as possible. The reason behind the presence of this bagged bird was that it was due to be given as a thank-you gift to the Bride’s mother, for bringing her up and caring for her until this point. How touching!
We rejoined the wedding later on in the day, in time for the evening meal. Tao, Stewart and Jamie also came to the restuarant. That was good, not least because we could all be stared at together. Compared with the morning, the meal was rather non-eventful. I had hideous red wine, chuckled as the boys stuck a cigarette into the greasy beak of our table's roast duck, and avoided eating the dish of pig's tongue. It was very cool to be part of the celebration and we has a laugh. I think I will certainly remember the day for its morning, although the post-meal games that were played back at the new house (once again the foreigners were invited to this intimate affair) were also pretty memorable:
Although the whole thing was far more sober than you’d expect in England, the bride and groom were instructed to play numerous cheeky but fairly innocent games in front of their guests in their bedroom. One game included the couple having to take toothpicks out of a cupcake using only their mouths, whilst it hanged between them from a string; because they were taking turns to do this, it meant the rather spiky cake kept swinging into their faces. Rather funny to watch!
Overall, the day was a mix of the bizarre and the delightful, and I am so pleased I was invited to be part of it.
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