Chinese Wedding - 08/11/06

Apparently, Chinese couples are eager to kick-off their wedding day as early as possible because it is considered lucky to do so. Another widely held belief is that the 8th day of 11th month is a particularly auspicious day on which to get married – something relating to wealth, I think. Accordingly, on Wednesday 8 November, Joe and I met Tony (our Chinese friend from Aston) at 6am outside our apartment block. From there we headed straight to Tony’s house in order to be ready for a lucky 6.30am start.

Poor Tony was visibly excited/nervous/emotional about his sister’s wedding day– he couldn’t sit still. After his Mum offered us Chinese tea, cakes and sweets, for which we had no appetite, Tony explained his duties for the morning (more about which will follow); this helped us understand his state of anxiousness.

Not long afterwards, Wang Yi Kuan, appeared from having her make-up done, dressed in white and looking lovely. After we were quickly introduced and gave to her our wedding gift (cash in a red envelope is what is expected here – no messing around with presents chosen from a John Lewis wish-list – the bride went into her room and hid behind the bed.

If Tony hadn't explained to me the point of this stage of the wedding, I would probably have been mildly perturbed by this behaviour. Thankfully, however, I did understand that a Chinese Bride is traditionally supposed to play ‘hard-to-get’ (the extreme version) until her fiancée has paid enough money for her. Once her family are satisfied that they have got a good deal for their daughter, they will allow her to leave for her new marital home, thus passing into the bosom of a new family.

We knew that this bartering was about to begin as soon as we heard the first round of fireworks that were set off in the courtyard outside. It was ever so exciting. Everyone (by which I mean those in Tony’s flat but also, I am sure, every living soul in the local area) was rushing back and forth to the windows to witness the deafening display of firecrackers. Soon after, there was heavy banging on the front door and the groom’s posse (which included square-jawed men who chain smoked, wore white gloves and were hired to oversee the occasion) started posting red envelopes of money under the door.

I found the whole thing fantastic fun to watch. Frankly, I didn’t know what to expect next (I could barely think over the noise of the fireworks) so I just stood with Joe on the sidelines and stared, agog, as Wang Yi Kuan’s friends, sister and mother all militantly shouted their replies to the banging, insisting that more money was necessary.

It was only when fireworks were let off under the front door that the groom, Zhang Shou Hua, was able to barge his way in. My photography doesn’t do justice to the drama. Eventually, the bride and groom were allowed to be reunited and exchange rings, which was really lovely. However, this was only after Tony’s heroic running jump and dive to get to his sister’s bedroom door before the Zhang Shou Hua could enter. There was lots of joking and laughing, and then the hired photographer began taking photos, thus marking the end of the first part of the wedding day.

Joe and I had found it all absolutely fascinating, but I did felt a little out of place in this relatively small (if extremely loud and attention-seeking) party, especially as we had met the bride only minutes earlier. For this reason I was completely shocked when Tony’s sister invited us to be in her early-morning wedding photos, while even her close friends were not. Paul later explained that we ought to appreciate that having foreigners at a wedding in Wuhu is on a par with having a minor celebrity at your wedding in England; you’d want them in your photos!

After smiling sheepishly for the cameras, Joe and I rushed down to the courtyard in order to get a good spot to watch as Tony carried his sister down the 4 or 5 flights of stairs to the wedding car. This was the duty he had practiced over and over in the previous few days, and about which he had got so anxious (he is a very slight guy and all eyes in the local community were on him, so it’s understandable!). At this point, more fireworks were set off in the courtyard, making it appear as though Tony was evacuating his family from a minefield.

It was about 7.30 by the time we left for the newly-weds’ new home. According to tradition, the brides’ parents (in this case, just her Mum) have to stay behind, which I found quite harsh because the poor lady was in tears due to the emotion of the day. A big convoy of black cars made their way across town and we spent the hour before we had to leave for work (teaching in Kindergarten) at the new house. Joe and I couldn’t help but laugh when we noticed the hired cameraman standing up, his body sticking up out of the first wedding car to film the cars that followed – now that’s dedication!!

While we chatted and had more photos at the new house, Joe and I were made to eat boiled eggs (to bring us good fortune, naturally). The new house contained brand-new everything, and had studio-staged photographic portraits of the couple hanging all over the place (a normal practice here, it seems ).

One experience I had at this point in the wedding, which I shall never forget, was sitting on the loo next to a live-and-clucking chicken that was being stored in a coal sack for the next day. I had been told about this before I entered the room so it could have been worse, but I still found myself making girly squeals as I left the room as promptly as possible. The reason behind the presence of this bagged bird was that it was due to be given as a thank-you gift to the Bride’s mother, for bringing her up and caring for her until this point. How touching!

We rejoined the wedding later on in the day, in time for the evening meal. Tao, Stewart and Jamie also came to the restuarant. That was good, not least because we could all be stared at together. Compared with the morning, the meal was rather non-eventful. I had hideous red wine, chuckled as the boys stuck a cigarette into the greasy beak of our table's roast duck, and avoided eating the dish of pig's tongue. It was very cool to be part of the celebration and we has a laugh. I think I will certainly remember the day for its morning, although the post-meal games that were played back at the new house (once again the foreigners were invited to this intimate affair) were also pretty memorable:

Although the whole thing was far more sober than you’d expect in England, the bride and groom were instructed to play numerous cheeky but fairly innocent games in front of their guests in their bedroom. One game included the couple having to take toothpicks out of a cupcake using only their mouths, whilst it hanged between them from a string; because they were taking turns to do this, it meant the rather spiky cake kept swinging into their faces. Rather funny to watch!
Overall, the day was a mix of the bizarre and the delightful, and I am so pleased I was invited to be part of it.

Confusion, censorship...China!

Joe and I have had our google blogs blocked in China - we can't even view what's already there! I was actually quite put out by this petty (and futile) act of censorship, but both Joe and I refuse to be silenced indefinitely. Consquently, we've both started up new blogs on a site that is deemed acceptable to the authorities here.

In the last few weeks I have done a number of things that I would have liked to blog, including attending a Chinese Wedding and visiting the ancient (once the capital) city of China, Nanjing. I did write a couple of blog entires, including one about the wedding, in Word documents. Therefore, after my Chinese lesson, which starts in a few mins, i'll just cut and paste and also upload some photos... S x

PS. My profile photograph is supposed to be me looking pensive with chopsticks, as I consider what to blog next - y'see?! Below is a photograph of me and Tao sitting in a restaurant that serves delicious, spicy fish in a big metal bowl. You can see our bowl in the photo that's hanging behing us. Indeed, the first time we went to this place, they took photos of us for advertising purposes - 'look, foreigners eat here!'. They gave us our first meal for free, so we promised to return and pay the next time. When we did go back, we found that they had blown up two of the photographs and hung them on the walls of the tiny little place. I had to have a photo of that - only in Wuhu would this happen!

Catch-up post

I have been unable to blog for a while due to google's ‘maintenance problems'. Unfortunately, I've forgotten many of the things that I would have blogged so I'll just write a couple of things that now come to mind.

Last Wednesday night I made my first visit to the tea house near Wuhu's Buddhist temple. I felt ever so civilised as I sipped my Jasmine tea (actually really nice, despite my reservations about what I see as 'healthy' teas). Whilst Englishmen go to the pub to catch up with mates, the Chinese chat over tea, surrounded by beautifully carved wooden furniture and water features. I was delighted to embrace this thriving tradition with Joe, however much I also would have liked a glass of pinot grigio.

On Saturday I played badminton with Merim, Kaori and Fang Fang (who is taught Japanese by Kaori). Considering I usually avoid all net/ball/bat-related sports, I was mildly amused to find myself in a taxi on the way to the public courts of Wuhu's Olympic Stadium. However, I will happily admit that I enjoyed it a lot, despite my quite dire ability with a shuttlecock. Team sports are such good outlets for competitive urges, so, once over the initial confidence shortage, I really got into it.

The next evening, we were invited for homemade dumplings at Fang Fang's house. I have found that the people of Wuhu will invite you to eat in their home even if they barely know you, and this was not an exception – I had only met this sweet (if unusually energetic) girl two days before. Nevertheless, her mother had made an enormous amount of food and she'd even bought red wine, which I doubt she drinks very often herself.

Really, apart from other such relatively inconsequential events, things have been‘as normal’ here. We didn't celebrate Halloween, both because the Chinese don't and because we boycotted the only Halloween party we knew of (the boys really don't like the Canadian guy who organised it and I wasn't prepared to dress up on my own).

I am spending a large proportion of my time learning Chinese. By that, I refer to time spent in lessons and private study, but also times such as the two hours sat in MacDonald's yesterday, being taught the lyrics of a Chinese popsong by Tao. Actually, I think learning songs is quite a good way to do it because you pick up new words while also having a giggle – marvellous. I honestly don’t care if I sound like a crazy person – I will sing in MacDonald's every night if that's what it takes to learn this bloody language. Besides, people can’t possibly stare anymore if they tried, so singing makes no difference.

This morning after teaching at Kindergarten, as Joe and I were walking along the road with our Chinese colleagues, Eva and Lucy, we saw a big black dog in a cage. Having wandered around a market full of caged animals, during my quest for pot plants about a month ago, I was not in any way surprised by this. However, I was genuinely upset when Eva informed us that this particular dog, caged in unsuspecting ignorance, was almost certainly headed for the bowls of the restaurant it sat outside. Indeed, along that road there are many restaurants-come-street stalls, where food (vegetables and noodles, as well as the live offerings) is displayed and cooked outside and diners tuck into their egg-fried rice and dog meat inside. Yum.

My appetite returned not long after, thankfully, and this evening Joe and Ahmir showed Paul, Merim and me a crazy food stall market, which is off a main road I have walked along many times. Once you've stepped through the near-circular brick wall entrance you are met with a dirty looking narrow street, full of people walking through or queuing up by stalls that cook dishes over open flames or in brick ovens. I had chicken (served on a stick, like most meat in this country) and a huge vegetable pancake wrap thing, which was prepared in front of us. It tasted good, so it was easy to forget that the sticky batter mix was tipped on to the heat from a red bucket with which I wouldn’t want to clean my floors. I am definitely going back to that market because my whole meal cost me 4 kuai – not much more that 30p!!!
I will try and post some more photos on soon; maybe including one of the food market and my meat lollipops x

My first Chinese Wedding!

I have been invited to a Chinese wedding! Tony, one of the assistants at Aston, has invited Joe and me to his sister’s big day, which is on 9 November - I feel so honoured! Of course, my first thought was ‘where can I buy a hat?’ but, apparently, weddings here are not as formal as the English equivalents. In fact, I have been told that they are very different to traditional British Christian weddings, so it should be a fantastic experience. According to Paul, who went to a wedding here about 9 months ago, a Chinese bride gets changed into numerous different dresses throughout the day. This may explain why there are so many wedding dress shops in Wuhu.

Joe told me about this invitation mid-way through my teaching on Sunday, which lifted my already good mood. Indeed, I had a really good weekend of teaching and enjoyed every lesson (when the kids respond well to my lesson plans my spirits are always lifted). For example, it was particularly entertaining hearing the results of my ‘Supergoal 2’ students, who I asked to come up with their own cockney rhyming slang (!).

I have had my morning Chinese class and, because the weather is glorious today, I am keen to go out for a run. It’s a cool but sunny day with blue skies – perfect for a run, methinks. According to one of the two English teachers who turned up for their lesson on Saturday, the weather here is abnormally mild for the time of year – we shouldn’t still be walking around without jumpers on! Abnormal or not, I’m just pleased it’s not the British-style autumnal rains and grim, darkening evenings. To make the most of this, after Joe gets out of his lesson I am going to take him to Zhe Shan park to show him my 40minute run. The spinning is more fun when we go together, so I’m sure the run will be good, too (if he can keep up – haha ha!).

A lesson on frazzling the brain

I should be in a lesson right now, but only two English teachers turned up this week so the lesson was cut short. Admittedly, two students represents a 100% rise from last week's total but we agreed that an hour of chatting was sufficient. I helped them with some phrases, colloquialisms and idioms that they had come across but had not quite understood. It's only when you are asked to explain the English language, with all its exceptions and obscurities, that you realise how difficult it must be to learn!
I went to KTV last night with a large mixed group of Chinese and foreign people. Some of the Chinese assistants, including one of my teachers, came along, which was cool because they are our age. Sometimes, so I have been told, they don't feel very comfortable around foreigners in situations where we are babbling at native-speaking speed, which is totally understandable. However, last night it worked well and we all chatted (or, rather, shouted over the tuneful/tuneless noises of karaoke) together. I was so delighted when one of the girls (whose English name is Fairy- they come up with all sorts of names for themselves) announced that the assistants think my Chinese is really progressing.
I have been doing so much studying in the last two weeks, so that comment meant a lot! I currently have 3 hours on Monday, Tuesdays, Thursday and Friday mornings at Aston, plus Tao is giving Kaori (Japanese lady in our flat) and me a two-hour lesson every Tuesday and Thursday evening. It's so nice of her to do this but Tao insists that she likes to do this for her friends. On Thursday we sat in MacDonald's (the quieter one of the two in Wuhu) and drank coffee (free refills, so good for studying) whilst we studied. It frazzles your brain a bit to exercise your memory in this way, but frequent practice is the only way to learn, I'm sure. At every opportunity, I am speaking all the Chinese I can, even if the sentences come out as an odd mix of English and Chinese!
I have a lesson in 15 minutes so I must go now. The students are 7/8 year olds and they are learning about numbers and money at the moment. I am going to take in some British money, which should rouse their interest for at least 20 seconds. I also spent ages producing some cards for a card game to play with them, so I really hope it works and that they are not too young to understand.

Old Bookstore Street

I think I should describe my immediate surroundings, largely because it might say something about Wuhu more generally, but also because I have a bit of time to kill before my Chinese lesson:
As a foreign English teacher (I am now officially of that title; I have my own business cards!) I live in one part of the sixth floor of a high-rise building (that's a lot of steps to climb, every time). The other part of this floor contains Aston Language Centre's offices, a 'library' and about six classrooms, so I don't have very far to commute in the mornings.

Our building also contains offices and a hotel. Apparently, at the main entrance of the block, there is a sign advertising the cost of a two-hour stay at this hotel. Of course, I can't read the Chinese characters so the seediness passes me by, but I hear it is popular haunt of loved-up university students (they share rooms in tiny dormitories, where quiet, let alone privacy, is rarely attainable).

Aston is situated on Old Bookstore Street, imaginatively named after the bookstore that once stood here. Since those days, many other buildings have been built around the site but the book-selling continues. As you walk along this short street, therefore, it's often necessary to squeeze past the numerous shoppers who stand by the book stalls, perusing the pages of Chinese books (many of which I think are counterfeits) and eating snacks from a couple of nearby food stalls. These often include sausages on a stick (they cannot get enough of food on sticks here!), the smell of which emanates quite enticingly from the end of the street that brings you out near the main shopping area, Walking Street. Below is the view of the street from my room.

The books for sale lay on tables that stand with their proprietors under umbrellas or canvases. Everyday the booksellers, most of whom no longer exude youthful spriteliness, unload their books from old carts that have two wheels and can be pulled or attached to a bike (I think). At the end of the day, around six, the books are reloaded onto the carts and taken to an unknown location for the night. That's what happens outside this building, every single day. I must now go to my lesson.
PS. I have seen at least 10 people walking around in pajamas since I last blogged.
PPS. Below is a picture of the statue of the Chairman in Zheshan Park. Mao looks out on the lake overseeing the goings-on of the park.

Sunday night slump

I have just watched Forrest Gump. Merim and Ahmir b0ught the DVD for us to watch, mainly out of utter disbelief that I had reached the age of 21 without seeing this film. In a way, I do feel that my life has been enriched –'Forrest - Forrest Gump' is just so endearing and there are more than enough quirky comedy moments to keep a person engrossed for nearing 3 hours.

In fact, it was just was just what I needed after completing my weekend teaching slog. Apart from Kindergarten on Wednesday mornings, all my lessons are squished together on Saturdays and Sundays – days that sometimes feel like a relentless, blurred procession of students.

On Saturday morning, I woke up to teach my English teachers in our 8.20-10am lesson. However, only one teacher turned up (it is only a voluntary class and I think, quite understandably, the rest didn’t really feel like getting up and climbing six floors that early on a Saturday) so it ended up being a one-to-one chat. It's a shame because I had planned the lesson in quite a bit of depth; I was looking forward to hearing my students’ views on marriage and the roles of women and men within the institution.

Of course, I do not expect such engaging conversation from the rest of my classes, nor do I ever get it. Instead, I am most often confronted with over-excited children whose parents wait outside the classrooms during the 100minute lessons (sometimes, I’m convinced I can hear them pawing at the door), eager to know how well their only, precious child is doing. To be fair, the older children are not nearly as loud, especially as the classes are smaller and many of them have a real interest in learning the language (as opposed to being dragged their by their parents). I will say, however, that poor Grant, my assistant this morning, nearly lost his voice as he strained to get 24 six-year olds to do as we wanted.

On Saturday, after teaching, Joe and I did one hour’s spinning. I had no desire to go beforehand but I am so glad I did – I felt much better afterwards. We were only going to do 45 minutes, but when you are with someone else and there are great tunes being pumped out (Chinese dance music is something that really ought not be missed – especially the remixes of western songs) it is so much easier to keep going.

It's an odd place, our gym. I don't think that many people can afford to go ( it's cheap compared with British prices, but expensive here), so it is usually very quiet. However, when there are others working out, it is very likely that they will not be wearing sports gear as we define it. I have seen many men without tops on and one guy wore absolutely nothing on his feet whilst he plodded away on the running machine. You just wouldn’t see that in England – health and safety, hygiene and fashion snobbery dictates a scary amount.

Talking about fashion, I have of late noticed increasing numbers of people wearing pajamas in the streets and supermarkets of Wuhu. Bright and colourful jim-jam ensembles are paraded around by young and old alike. Joe and I went to Walmart the other day and were stared at by a woman in a pink pair of pajamas. She looked at us as if we were the strange ones (we were both wearing jeans) and didn't take her eyes off us even as she descended to the ground level. Partly as a result, on Friday night we decided as a group that we might just follow suit. The plan is to walk around Wuhu, on a day yet to be decided, in our pajamas (apparently you can get reasonably-priced thicker bedclothes for winter, so we won’t be cold), maybe do a spot of shopping and grab something to eat, and then perhaps take a leisurely walk around Mirror Lake. It sounds good to me – When in Rome and all that.

Now my weekend of teaching is over, it’s back to thinking about learning. I felt a bit overloaded with Chinese lessons by the end of last week so it was cool to have a break. However, I do think I am learning in the lessons, albeit slowly, and I know I wouldn’t put in the required work if I were teaching myself, so I am still sure it’s all worth while.